


The Jonah Ryan Celebration Method™ (Ft. Dan Egan) Pat. pen.

by R_Gunns



Category: Veep
Genre: Alcohol, Blow Jobs, Cocaine, Coda, Drunk Sex, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7047826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Gunns/pseuds/R_Gunns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Missing scene from S05E06)</p><p>Jonah was a success. They celebrate.</p><p>  <i>“So,” Jonah is saying, turning from the bar with two shot glasses cradled in his massive hands, filled with what better not be fucking Jägermeister. “To crushing the competition!” Dan thinks that the competition doesn't really count when it's a woman closer to death than not, but he does the goddamn shot. And it’s fucking Jägermeister.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jonah Ryan Celebration Method™ (Ft. Dan Egan) Pat. pen.

**Author's Note:**

> So Jonah and Dan are Jonah and Dan so warning for that, as well sex related stuff while under the influence of alcohol/cocaine. Shrug emoticon. I haven't proofread this yet either.

The rush is heady, and he’s giddy with it. He’s not sure why he walks on stage, grabbing Jonah’s fist and rising it above his head like it was a fucking MMA fight and he’s pronouncing Jonah the winnner. Except that it _was_ like that, and he _was_ doing that, not even thinking, just flushed with adrenaline (and a maybe some arousal, because success has always done it for him, and the last year has been something of a dry spell) and eager to celebrate. Fuck the old broad and her snide pasta comment, fuck Selina and Tom and Amy for always knowing him better than he does himself. 

They go out for drinks after, Richard and Jonah and him like the world's worst musketeers, toasting individually to their own brilliance (Jonah), to saying fuck you to Selina (his), and to the good days ahead of them (Richard). Richard is apparently a lightweight so it doesn’t take long for him to tell them goodnight and _congratulations Jonah, sir, I believed in you the entire time_ and awkwardly attempt to hug him before calling it a night.

Things are quiet after that for a moment, long enough that he starts thinking about everything that happened earlier; how much the crowd loved Jonah, Bill’s face, Jonah in those glasses, Jonah telling him he’s doing a _good job-  
_

“So,” Jonah is saying, turning from the bar with two shot glasses cradled in his massive hands, filled with what better not be fucking Jägermeister. “To crushing the competition!” Dan thinks that the competition doesn’t really count when it’s a woman closer to death than not, but he does the goddamn shot. And it’s fucking Jägermeister. 

Thing is, Dan could also be considered sort of a lightweight by certain standards. He usually nurses his drinks, doesn’t pour them down his open throat in a way that inexplicably brings the idea of deepthroating to mind. He’s just not used to it is all.

But Jonah is handing him another shot, something half pink and half what turns out to be tabasco, and it’s terrible, so they wash it down with another. Another becomes a shit-ton and things are becoming pleasantly fuzzy about the time Jonah holds a shot up to Dan’s face, offering it to him, his fingers pressed lightly to Dan’s bottom lip.

“Try it!” he’s shouting over the noise of the bar, and this is so _so_ stupid, but Dan can’t find it in himself to care.

He nods and lets Jonah pour it slowly into his mouth with his left hand, the right coming up to cup the back of Dan’s neck as he leans his head back to catch the alcohol. Turns out Jonah was offering more than the shot though, because he’s barely swallowed when Jonah’s leaning into his personal space ( _more_ into his personal space, he’s already standing between Dan’s legs where he’s sat on the bar stool) and kissing him. It gets filthy fast; Jonah licks into his mouth eagerly, sucking the taste of the shot off of Dan’s tongue and biting his bottom lip just this side of too hard. 

He must regain some rationality for a second though, because he pulls back with a moan, says something about going back to his hotel room and Dan is nodding and following and then his brain sort of- hard cuts, and-

He finds himself on his back on a double bed, shirt and pants gone, head hanging off the edge and watching Jonah above him using a key to dig some coke out of the tiny plastic bag Dan keeps it in. Which is stupid, _stupid_ , he hasn’t needed it in a while, just kept it around in case, but this feels like the time if there’s any and so he snorts it when Jonah offers the key, lets him knuckle the residue from under his nose. Dan can sort of see his own blown pupils reflected in Jonah’s own, head hanging off the bed like a dumbass.

“I bet you’d snort this off my dick if I asked you to.” Jonah’s awful lizard-brain says, but it brings Dan’s attention back down to the dick in question, aproximately eye level. It’s a good dick: big, thick. Flushed red and half hard, it looks _heavy_. He thinks he wants it in all of his orifices, which is disgusting. Jonah is rubbing off on him.

“I’m not that drunk.” 

“Dude I’d maybe believe you if you weren’t speaking into my dick right now.”

“Are you- ugh,” he gropes around above his head, making contact with Jonah’s thigh and yanking him forward. “Jesus do I have to spell it out for you? Fuck my mouth, c’mon, _please_.” Which is dangerously close to begging, but it gets his point across because Jonah’s nodding eagerly, spitting into his right hand and reaching down to circle his dick, jerking it only a few times to get fully hard. Then he’s shoving a pillow under Dan’s neck and leaning forward over him to push his dick between Dan’s lips. Dan has a moment to think that this really is a terrible angle for Jonah before he’s discovering just how big he is; objectively seeing a dick is very different from feeling it in your mouth, against the back of your throat. He gags a little, but manages to open up his throat so he can take it when Jonah settles himself balls deep.

“ _Fuck_ , you feel good,” Jonah says, “You’re so good for me,” and he flushes so abruptly he goes lightheaded, moaning around Jonah’s dick, which makes Jonah’s hips snap forward once, twice in quick succession. When Dan doesn’t choke, just hums happily, hand reaching into his boxers to get at his own dick, Jonah takes that as the go-ahead and starts fucking him in earnest. He leans over him to balance one hand on the bed, the other gripping tight under Dan’s knee, pulling it towards his chest. It should feel degrading being used like this, Jonah fucking his mouth and not even reciprocating by jerking him off, but instead its making him fuzzy with arousal, his toes curling against the bedsheets, Jonah’s rambling above him only adding to it.

“So good, such a good slut, _fuck,_ how many dicks have you sucked to get this good, you're so good at this, shit I’m close-”  

Jonah doesn’t give him much of a warning, but in the end it doesn’t matter, his dick pressed so deep that he doesn’t even have to swallow, just feels it warm in his throat and he’s coming too, muscles clenched and curled in on himself with how good it is. 

Things are sort of fuzzy again after that, Jonah pulling out and grinning dopily, Dan wiping his hand on the sheets and rolling over just enough for Jonah to flop on the bed next to him. He remembers huffing but ultimately allowing Jonah to pull Dan on top of him and curl round him like a limpet. 

He doesn’t remember waking up to something sharp pressing uncomfortably against his back in the early hours of the morning and reaching down to find Jonah’s broken glasses. He doesn’t remember thinking that he’s going to have to buy a lot more glasses.


End file.
